Dementia Resilience - 7.9.17

Sunday, July 9th

00:30:42

Jill Lorentz originally hails from the great farm country land of Illinois and has lived in Denver since 1984. When her mom was diagnosed with a form of dementia in the early 90's, Jill dedicated her life to learning about the disease, which lead to her career path of working with families and professionals who need assistance in this area as well. Believing caregivers can hold the key to setting the tone of emotional stability for the person with dementia, Dementia Resilience with Jill Lorentz sponsored by Belleview Heights Alzheimer’s Special Care Center will take an in depth look at how we can strengthen our techniques, strategies, and even our compassion to help people live with this disease; not to struggle with it. Our show's goal is to have a candid conversation about dementia and its effects on those it touches and to ignore ridiculous talk of a stigma attached to Alzheimer's. Resilience is your ability to adapt well and recover quickly after stress, by overcoming obstacles and adversity to find a positive outcome. People who have a resilient disposition are better able to maintain poise and a healthy level of physical and psychological awareness in the face of life's challenges. This 1/2 hour radio show, Sunday mornings from 10:00 -10:30 will explore avenues of intentional care and finding moments of joy while living with dementia. 

Transcription

Welcome to dementia resilience we chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. A candid conversation as we learn about dementia and alzheimer's and it's effects on the people we love. Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill Lawrence. Good morning. I hope there's a 70 lovely day. I'm really thrilled to have a guest on the show it is days from Ontario Canada and sees the. The total loan so bear with us listeners name is Jen roms tied Jana. Oh did I say your last name correctly. It got you wrong net like Romney with an act. There you go around knees. Well my fantastic. Gen. Has written a lovely book actually she's written two books and she's an artist. And so it's terrific to have her on the show today. Because she gonna tell us a little bit about the reason why she wrote the books. We're gonna talk about her mom. And the situation that she had with not only her mom and her mom having. And alzheimer's type dementia. But how her journey has has kind of come along since then just tell all my listeners a little bit about yourself even an Ontario. And you are not just. I you know. I have to plead that did genetic form of early on not hundreds of these are my mom had has really impacted every aspect of my life. As Jim mentioned Ayman ar did send actually done art is there or he and then things like I did well. But now I really specializing this because so much time and and locked down warned that people who have calm the issues are again. That I actually looked online this special and you know now they keep that help look at dementia how to pick up today. Now all that's terrific and we know that art and in different forms music so on and so for the really help people with this disease. And to relate to a little bit better and to communicate but talk about why you wrote your book. You're mom. Lovely woman by the way my goodness that the pictures of her new book. And it was always easier in your younger years with her husband Dan who easier biological father right. The hat he explain a little bit about Nino growing up with your mom and kind of what led to with the situation that. That I created the books in the first place. Sure my thought it was really very controlling and ask her a controlling how that goes PE. You basically if you go our family it was smaller is. He beat him telling my mom and her friend could be let quote she could Wear. Where she could work he try to keep very prominent. Graduating high school but she can get a better job. And I also followed through with me as well he didn't want me to become educated either error and it's. Presume job that you thought were balcony he preferred if mom and I predict waitress says I'm just saying about it and I'm. Thing to happen but it's not. Terribly uncommon or or even considered abuse occurred you know as far as the criminal definition of the word. But the more he did it come mortgage abuse increased and just because my mom did have this genetic promote alzheimer's humility. Became entrapped by those control he had over her. And it got worse as time went on because he. He actually. Escalated that in two. A pretty serious situation in later years when she became for depressed at the disease. At that point he moved church to a place that. Wasn't really nice and you couldn't find her. That's right apple then you've really. Got on the radar as far as the police and other authorities were concerned. In 2009. My father moved my mom into another institution without Helen any friend or family where he would call her. And unfortunately when I went to the police she knew I wanted to record turn out fine my mother they couldn't help me because Saddam should welcome the missing person. I thought I knew exactly where she was but he wanted to keep her. And his family secrets him. And that it that must have been the hardest thing you know very experienced even with a history had. Absolutely my mom and buying Burberry quote I am only since there isn't the typical mother daughter bond because she how you young teenager. Andy Bean can that be viewed as I grew up quickly and she say mark how Blake broke. Personality wise they're very cool and suddenly it well and how her. Disappear in modern day Canada it was just shocking to me that it could happen. Exactly and worse yet because you did not have power attorney over your mom. Eared dad wouldn't Woodson calling Dan okay that is that our anti. He presented you as sort of the long lost horrible daughter end and created a situation where the people at that. The place that she was at the facility wouldn't share information with T. This just constant. Imagine their confusion because. Bit my thought I had to call my mom medical records and hope for earth and what not playing my mom had known that that skin. Not sure we could searching I would show up. And there are one that looked exactly like my mommy can do the pictures in the book we had a very strong physically dongle and oh all right dean flash I had an idea that her maiden name and I even heard common law locked name I had all things matching up completely. So clearly I was a daughter and yes. He's my father had claimed she had no matter that you can look. Do you think everybody because there are many can't comment moral dilemma do they tell me where my mom doesn't count sure how then. We are losing their job due to that region private people are worried it could be hit by the US get the same kind of issues. Or do they didn't follow my vote tomorrow instructions of the word keeper Kim is not only Hershey and she's in the dark about her that he's. Not tell me she's being moved urgent need the worst offender even if she died. In terrible. And so all this culminated in T reading the books tell my blisters and naming your book and your website so they can look at your art while were on a break here here in just a minute. So what are the names your books. Sure the first look at cult entangled caught between Chile the and the second book is called entangled being trained from within and my web site at www. Jammed prominent dot com. Okay and get me a favor spell your name for the for the lesser. JE FM RO am. And eat fast. Excellent well one of the things that really. Touched me about your story that you shared was the long drives that you took employed they were long. Trying to find your mom and taking your children with you so that they could know her when you did finder. And the visits that you had were just really beautiful warned that. They were hurt and to my mom absolutely adored her grandchildren and that's really what makes whose only experience a heart wrenching because it. My mom wanted to be without it she wanted a hit. You just cut and knowing Obama's grandmother granddaughter aren't that just carry the being. How do you think the mentioned that it really affects you mustn't think it normal that they get funny though mom didn't read a story over and over gay and not be fazed by it would get a little. Think yeah some great re because my emotional memory with a careful you don't have got so on the twentieth in tough that it went perfectly with my girl. Exactly. And none of you know me what is it a little break here in just a minute but we come back we're gonna talk what about what I call fighting the good fight you had a couple of your friends. Come and help you so that you could actually talk with your mom. Did appeal always sign so that that it would be game changer in this whole thing. And and you actually. Didn't and had a hearing set where you could. Just tell your side of the story right. And yet so we come back I wanna talk about that if you don't mind Sharon. And what that day look like cow you'd better design IPO way and worthy OC CB hearings and and not and so on and so forth because you've won then I have to tell you why I'm so proud of you. You and I share. Unfortunately journey and that where I had to. Protect my mom against some abuses well also. We're gonna take a short break we'll come back and then hope will launch and Tibetan and we'll tell the rest your story UK sound good. Okay agents they would go for just a minute we'll hear word from our sponsor ability Knight alzheimer's special care center and we'll be right. Making the decision to place your loved one in the care of others is one of the most difficult decisions you'll ever have to make. If that's Simmons specialist in your life and is meaning memory care W heights is the place to call home. Bellevue heights part of the JEA's senior living family is deeply committed to serving people living with alzheimer's and other related dimensions. W heights believes that supporting families and caregivers is just as important as caring for our residents we offer free monthly support groups. Education and lecture series and presentations by experts in alzheimer's and dementia care. All of our programs are free and open to the public. Called LV heights at 3036900700. To learn more about the high standard of individualized care. They can offer your left behind. And ask the matter current and upcoming education opportunities and support groups. No you heights alzheimer's special care center is located at 14500. East Bellevue avenue in Aurora. Is it JEA's senior living dot com or call 3036900700. To schedule a tour come on to Stanley. Come home to Bellevue heights. Welcome to dementia resilience we chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. I candid conversation as we learn about dementia or alzheimer's and it's effects on the people we love. Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover and overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill Lawrence. Yeah right welcome back listeners I got Jim Jenn hobby easily we have so thank you for Montana Ontario Canada. And she and has written a couple of new. Really great books about her mom. Their journey with alzheimer's. And unfortunately some subsequent abuse that happened that created some situations Jen tell our listeners again the names of your books and then we'll give in to fight no good eight. Sure. The first look at call entangled. Caught between joy who. And the second one is called entangled featuring incumbent didn't. But actually because Google my laughing my Amazon into the end my last minute so unique it comes straight up. That's that's okay and that's how are oh M in ES for a man. OK so Jen and if you were books would you talked about two of your friends coming to. This facility that your mom was and I called that for reason. Yeah yeah and they actually help to you which Keating a power of attorney from her. So that you could move forward and try to get better care for her. But we have more complicated than that I'm used to be my father had such control over her with because he had a power of attorney that my mom and find out in the early nineties but her mother flipped it with alzheimer's. End in Canada we have. Guardianship or concern that ship is like the ultimate control then powers the maturity. And then go to what do you consider making law. So my father has the power to turn you over her an order for my mom she be able to make her own decision. Or she'd be taken seriously anybody any other or carotene she had to have my father removed a jerk how are returning great bulk though. About the my friends are dead they work out my friend that I know them both and high school. And it would not mean my selling for almost two decades and David Cook I put my mom fertility so. What happened is that they came to her the ability Q how the form behind and it turned out to be. A very difficult date I'm be nursing home it's not. Lisa since you exercising my mom try to make around the issue and that's not quite if you Google for us thought they precisely in a blue book. Absolutely. And I have to say that was riveting I blasted to those pages they couldn't put it down. It turned out that it moves to where you were allowed to have a hearing. Can you talk. I'm not sure what the market have attorneys have been re bulk it turned to put computer vision making law. And unfortunately. Although my mom hasn't. Said that she'd want to my father removed as her decision maker it didn't actually turn out that way I want she had legal comparative attorney. He couldn't Canada com mark so bid because my parents were never married. Com a lot thousands outrage biological camp so they already children and sister and brother and all of that kind of thing. Although my mom had tried to remove him she hasn't exactly completely removed him because. Again I couldn't pay them a lot of affiliate field line to get a new car which he signed and there are a lot of other issues about. On bad to me it could be got. So. The next step for me without this hearing at the interior condemned about he more and it's. In the paint in the same category how apparently turning her personal care yep I've attorney for finances and they're different. The obscure think about people are only deals with personal care so how can appreciate the things like stop. And I got up from cure being on CDC which is similar to your PR. Telling about my mom Dorian how I felt that I was below the miscue in my mother's case because it. Basically I think keeping me from knowing where she wasn't my thought I moved around. Eight different institutions into the year. Obama can't open the wonderment at taco which is good that your city to Toronto. The GPA and purely guess trigger. And got tunnel finally able to. How my father sacred trust him in court. To have him removed and my mother's decision maker. And you came prepared. You had Brian Waters for everyone in the room. Which is why would the listeners to know how important that was. And for you to put your ducks in a row and to have all the proved that you had because this was a monumental fight. To get this change so you could be in charge for personal care. It was critical because that top point I've become so broken legal fees Angola can't hear Supreme Court and could not afford my lawyers play really really really really hard to repair. I dirty spend tens of thousands of dollars in the going to be my big day. And unfortunately my parents were well off so my father had hired a hi how are lawyer comes small until an expert in the field. And it was he gave this expert lawyer who I knew was going to shoot doggedly pursue my father's wish to maintain control. Bill. It really well and I really have a the short end and not only got but it meant that every problem with that that the what I would really like she news. Highlighted Palau where it took her arbitrary he isn't being followed or that person isn't making decisions that reflect the best interest or wishing the person. There are mechanisms in place correct that. Outside of court. So in order for the been completely corrected. You actually have to prove abuse from the get go how the crew that the other prisoners being abusive. Not that the person that's only the guilty person tuition. My goal. Is yeah no confirmed at first I didn't hear no way to describe in the book. My mother is illegal and lawyer who got assigned to her because usually it happens here is that the equation block the building that copied all farmers. All of so he had pulled me aside and basically back to me don't concede you're going to litigate your father's expert lawyer. And in order for you Q you don't get any benefit from the hearing you have the crew of people. That you can't going to be open and that's just called Bob and get out of here before your father makes things worse for you and your mother. But now what you did you job you represented your mom. Do you represented her as a person not as a person with alzheimer's. And you talked about who she was as a person. And the love you and your family had for her and you warrants. That's amazed if he can. But it wasn't the end of the story it would not be in February. It just EM ID and just was a real piece of work in this case to a knee which is what makes your books so good. Really quick what your mom your girls remember about your mom. Can call remembered my mom. Being ill unfortunately she would just over two years old in 2009 when my mom went missing and because my father moved around so much there were literally months at a time where she couldn't see her grandmother. So old when I finally won the hearing and they looked OK getting kids into the wind knocked regularly eat. My mom already lit. Severely ill she's getting couldn't talk she'd gotten to wheelchair compatibility issues following him think like so. Built for the memories back Coley Hal and for any she remembered my mom she was five when my mom got locked away what you remembered my mom well as you remember church sex but commemorate the first second in a more clear because of that I'm lap where she wasn't able to see. My mom teaching my father's actions. But what I do now is I try Q who think whenever I cook with a recipe for my mom I talk about my mom and you know I can't hear the stronger than the K patron grandma Darlene about the people encourage you'll need to. Though that you don't show that she made in the united these things out but very few things Albuquerque. From her I was pretty sure what the kids who keep her memories alive without waiting for her cheek cell. They don't want them to. Remember her being. Somebody got sick. Now of course and and that's what makes you so resilient it's part part of what we practice here on the show overcoming obstacles and adversity to find positive outcome meant. And I'm just really proud of you and also. And your husband Chris is support we're take a short break and we come back we're gonna talk about his support and how you got in the dying unsteady which is a sister. Study to the 19 min will be right back after work from our sponsor. Making the decision to place your loved one in the care of others is one of the most difficult decisions you'll ever have to make if that's someone special is in your life and is needing memory care. Bellevue heights is the place to call home. Bellevue heights part of the GA's senior living Stanley is deeply committed to serving people living with alzheimer's and other related dimensions. Living with purpose and meaning is the best reward at Bellevue heights alzheimer's special care center. Your loved one will live life to its fullest licensed nurses are instead 24 hours a day. Compassionate caregivers. Three well balanced meals and three healthy snacks are a few key elements of the G-8 eat age difference. We also offer fully furnished private and semi private rooms. Meaningful activities and scheduled outings. Called Bellevue heights at 3036900700. To learn more about the high standard of individualized care they can offer your loved one. Bellevue heights alzheimer's special care center. Is located at 14 or 500. East Bellevue avenue in Aurora visit JEA senior living dot com. Or call 3036900700. To schedule a tour from one to Stanley come home to Bellevue types. Welcome to dementia resilience with the chill arrest sponsored by building heights alzheimer's special care center. A candid conversation as we learn about dementia or alzheimer's and it's effects on the people we love. Jill has years of dedication and experience help you adapt to recover and overcome obstacles and help find a positive outcome it's time for dementia resilience with the Jill Lawrence. Okay we're back Christian Romney's and Jan I eat in just so. Truly impressed with you I think I've I've bought both you your books and read and then like three days. They weren't absolutely. Riveting and I got on eight was on I believe. And I'm pretty sure I did so let's get a little further on this. You've been fighting for the rights of people. Who have domestic abuse and it's a serious issue isn't it especially with people. That have cognitive impairment and dementia of some type. It is they become even more trouble not when you go do you have a comment impairment. And you preventing domestic abuse at such a large problem that you don't have to target and small small places for the clintons and I'm targeting it and is visitation law which it would have been happening QB I'm. That gut and AN GA in the US aid package for the patient which basically guarantees. That familial bonds and that the current law does does that without. Then they are allowed to visit regardless of what the power of attorney. And unless they're late at restraining order or actual legal reasons good or bad that this so. Good for you in the US are going forward without the other medications like cable carriers which took the money situation I find where bit children couldn't. See there are sick and dying father and digging into common sense situation affects so I think that both Canada and the US can do much better with the problem you know monetary medical information because. In my case the owner blunt about it and I couldn't pursue my own. Health care and protect my own children what their health care. Without knowing another genetic information and can dump my car I kept that information from me until I have been hearing apparently is. That's right and I have told my listeners and many times that I'm in a study of familial study out of Washington University Saint Louis. And I don't know appear in that same one pitcher in the Diane study we talk about that. Sure. I know. There's not a lot of uplift you when you have good. The capacity robbing disease and alzheimer's and Diane is a really amazing experience to run by the very passionate be dirt churns and and the staff members and all of that you really wanna make it different crew thought I'm hurt. Diane downs for the Donnelly inherited all climate network. And I don't know even now I can't believe I'm a part of the study became. Entangled and showed how skeptical I was that I don't think our number one there. Reid had one of the few who won three deadly alzheimer's gene because the amount 500 yourself down only the world why do I want to be extremely rare and terrible gene. End to this study Diane target those families because. If you inherit that she eat their 1099%. Chance you'll get alzheimer's there's only one person I know Putin has the gene patents. He hit the regular on those dumb dumb that's. Typically it happens very lenient soundly so it. The gold mine for researchers because they're able to see what happens if somebody he had alzheimer's. Before those symptoms of memory law shall walk. And then it provides some drug target that start stopping the movie and preventing that map the caffeine of memory loss and and function laughter and all of that. And it's really empowering and I got to know both amazing people I. Do need arranging it conferences with the belly of the founders that need Jeanne as well as belonging to those of the study itself. Right and good news is. You did the testing and you don't have the gene congratulate our. Yeah I thought I thought. Excellent. It lets up. Diane I'm on the observation I know that. I AM on via a side where. Deeply committed to you need to know. Sheen. Think Whitney actual bio markers are of the city so he just said he thought don't shoot how did these. And those who don't they know what normally it looked like purses aging with the gene and getting alzheimer's. And because of that they've realized that all might actually start seeking a twenty years before you start losing your memory. That is true yes. Now it because putting these families that they realize that and now there's starting to find really early target so big that they can find. Number didn't. Yeah but got the equivalent to appeal the heart disease for alzheimer's but look. It probably won't completely cured and then these at least make it a manageable. And delayed feet. You know and putting people into long term care hopefully I can hear it you can do that it be hugely falcons currently you know. Obama in the top ten truly does need to how no treatment and cure now so. We're really desperate and find something and I think those people are dying and are hopeful that there on the right track. Right absolutely. And I wanna tell you. In. Upcoming shows you inspired me on the thirtieth of July listeners. You need to have your pen and pencil because and due to Jens books I've asked a wonderful. Person to come on the show and her name is clearly. Charlton and she's going to talk about power of attorney. And if you sell your parents' home. What the tax ramifications are for that. And what gets covered on Medicaid and Medicare. We and you are in charge of your parents' finances and if you have somebody come into the home and help the women and work with them and what's not covered. And it's going to be a really really good show. And next week next Sunday I'm going to have. A lovely good friend of mine Rosalind Greece is gonna come on and talk about cultural diversity she's gonna talk about how alzheimer's. And different types of dementia affect and our multi racial. Communities. Especially ability nose out they're nine Denver metropolitan area. And are African American community generally about two minutes left tell me your final thoughts and remembering your mom and her legacy in them I'm really proud you've done this. Sure I'm deeply committed touting a legacy for my mom she had a disease alzheimer's which is. This is the industry getting ended I feel it's my job to ensure that she and her story or not forgotten. I beat her all of it about her all the time to my girl play. I tell heard the stories and I could put her recipes and I really make sure I help everyone eating with us which ones are hurt my mother's recipe doesn't. It actually touching the gun already meter diamond angle told me that they made life changing decision because my mom story. And then after. It's amazing elated he got so I do more you know I think getting Kennedy to catch up with the US and to protect people who have these are such as alzheimer's. Mean some people are late your visitation at all. Great. And big big step that that's huge and I'm go to put a link to your website at that's okay. On the podcast on my web sites so it was some resiliency training dot com under my radio podcast. Blisters you can go on there as you always do and listen to this show if you wanna hear it again this year it was somebody please do. And you'll be able to link straight to Jim site gen site so you can see her art you can purchase your books. And let her know hurt your thoughts about what she's written what she's done on behalf of her mom Darlene. I really really appreciate you coming on as a person who changed laws in Illinois. We had two changes of laws in Illinois about my mom's case and one is that people with the a criminal background cannot work in care communities or facilities in Illinois. And also gradual dose reduction. Because you can no longer in the state of Illinois. On my mom's behalf and give medication to somebody without targeting a symptom and every thirty days you have to gradually reduce. Those. Those medications to make sure that you are treating the symptom. Jen you entire world's dangers were doing it one step at a time and I am proud to call you my new friend. Thank you for being on the show I hope blisters we'll check out your website check out your art read your book and I just think you are wonderful person. Think they just let you love so glad to have you on the show. You have a wonderful rested your year end if you write anything else or. Wanna tell us about Smart work you're doing we'll have you back on the show okay. Luckily they can just take care gin. And listeners have a great weekend. You've been listening to dementia resilience would until horrendous sponsored by value priced alzheimer's special care center. Visit the website at summit resilience training dot com to learn more. And join us next week as we learn more about dementia alzheimer's and overcoming obstacles with a positive outcome see you next time.